|Then you are using your toughness in a wrong way! The biggest mistake we can make, is in getting to the wrong battles. We might even win the battle, but not without wounds!
|People leave leaders, not companies. That is true in situations, where people feel that they have an option, an opportunity to goe somewhere. There are two situations, when people don’t leave; there is no visible safe enough path to something new or they think, that they are tough enough to live up to a bad boss. Both lead to the situation, where the person is scarifying their wellbeing, both mentally and physically. And that is absolute madness. It is bad for the person, for his/her family and also for their future. If you are either of those, please remember the following: 1. the situation is building up your stress level (you are walking a slowly ascending path of permanent stress) 2. stress will reduce you abilities to see options 3. stress will increase cardiovascular risks 4. you will be a lesser person to your spouse / children. Just to mention a few direct and (sometimes) even lethal impacts!
|How do you know, if you have a bad boss or is it a case of personality differences between you two? There are 3 clear sign, which should warn you: 1. in your organization, no-one ever dares to tell the boss that they have a strongly different viewpoint 2. your boss never gives positive feedback or credit to people 3. people in the organization constantly and only talk about how bad the boss is, how he/she has mistreated / excluded from the in-house society or punished people. If you have those, then you need to make a plan for the future. There is always way out, when you dare to accept, that this organization is not for you!
|You cannot save others, so don’t try. I have heard people say ”well, this is the only hospitable in the area, there is no other place where we all could go”. That is true, but if there is a hospitable, there are also other health industry operators in the area. Which means, that you have an option! The option might be just for one, so make your move. If in doubt, ask your self the following question: ”could I be a better spouse / parent / friend, if I would feel good at work and be less stressed?”. If you say yes, what is stopping you? Are you thinking ”but I cannot leave my friends at work”? If they are your friends, they will be that also when you work in another environment. Others are work mates, and you will have new ones in the new place!
|Some of us have very high stress resilience. We are able (yep, I wrote we, because I am like this and have gone through the path) to deal with a lot of bad behavior from our boss. Bullying, exclusion and so on. We are fighting to change the bad boss. We are fighting to change the culture. Well, in most cases that is just hurting us. We lose opportunities, we too slowly increase our stress level and we are unlikely to be able to truly change the boss. At the most, we might create a climate of fear, which is bad for the organization. And the bad boss will work all the time to get his/her revenge. If you have thoughts, that your boss is a bad boss, stop for a moment. Why do you have the thought? Evaluate the indicators. As you really stop to think, you open up your brain to see things from multiple perspectives. To boost up and to improve your process, sit down with someone who can coach you in your thinking process. Don’t ask them what to do, but what to look for, in order to make the best decision for your life! The good news is, that you don’t have to get away from the bad boss the next day. As you make a plan for the future, the you already reduce your stress level, you will start to see options and you will be able to deal with bad behavior much better. You create hope for yourself!
|”I am tough, I can handle this”, can be your thought. Well, if you are that tough, why not to use it for good, instead of using for fighting? Toughness gives you the tools and the mental ability to build a better future. A future where your personality is building something better. Not just trying to tear something apart, or keep some fake image alive. The one thing, that I have learnt (also the hard way) is that we cannot truly change other people. We can support them, when they want to change, but first they need to see the need for change in themselves. Do you dare to see the need for change in your life?
|Check your feelings and emotions. Are there fighting, depressed or perhaps even being humiliated thoughts? Or just stressed? Why do you really have those emotions? Are you staying because of some good reason, which someone else might se as an excuse for not taking action? If there is anything like that, sit down at your kitchen table and write those thoughts on a piece of paper. Start your journey to a better tomorrow today. Discuss with someone, who gives you good questions.
|Getting out of the influence area of bad boss is your right and your responsibility. You owe that to your family, to yourself. Just think about how you will feel, when you are respected and valued at work. What will life be like, when you come home from work with a smile on your face?
|Coaching is the support the best leaders use. That is also used in a great number of workplace challenges. Rapid coaches, like me, are trained to help you go through thinking process. That will save you time and energy, helping you to find your path faster and to make it more clear. As customers have said ”I couldn’t even see these options, before we talked. Now I know what I want to do and how to do it”.
|Would you like to know more about coaching? In today’s digital world, we don’t even need to be in the same room. A video call is also a good way! Get in touch today, it is about your tomorrow, and the rest of your life!
|Your partner in making change happen, Kari I. Mattila, emotional intelligence advisor