I was just reading an article written by Ulla Kulju (you probably can find her on Facebook). A disabled lady race driving motorcycles. She, among other disabled athletes, have a lesson to share. The lesson is ”life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to that”.
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Your attitude is what people see and, even more important, feel. People might forget what you said, probably forget what you were wearing. But they will never forget if you made them feel like trash or like a prince. Your attitude is a powerful tool. You have a huge impact on others through your attitude on them. That though is nothing compared to what your attitude does to your success. Attitude is a matter of choice. Your brain work in the following sequence: is this a risk for my survivor –> how has it been appropriate to behave in the past –> what kind of rational explanation would support the chosen behavior = the visible attitude. |
Your attitude tells people if they are respected, valuable or something else. The more we are under pressure, the more likely we are to prejudice the first signals as threats. Attitude, being the outcome of a process, can though be changed. We have learnt the ones we now have. If you are already seeing everyone as valuable person (regardless of differences you two have), you are on the bright side of building success. But, if there is need for better collaboration with people, that starts with your attitude. The one you choose. Changing attitude is actually easy. It takes time, but we are talking about seconds! The point in attitude is about connecting two things; being still yourself and respecting the other person as he/she is. Being yourself means, that you need to have good understanding of your values. Be careful here, don’t let your brain fool you to think , that some of your attitudes are your values! Once you are clear on your values, you have better self-esteem (did you read the previous article on self-esteem?). And then you can respect different kind of people.
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Respecting people is something you get back. They are more likely to respect you and hence you too will have higher level of collaboration. Yes, there will always be people who are so far away from you, that ”common ground” cannot be found. The question to ask yourself there is ”am I going to allow negative attitude take over and hence drain my resources, or can I just accept that we are not meant to be best friends with everyone?”. Again, you choose you attitude, you decide where your energy will be going to. Success or living the life ”Don Quixote”, fighting battle after battle without any hope of getting real results?
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Jack Welch has said ”I always hired people, who are better than I am”. That is an attitude with at the same time respecting oneself and understanding the real route to success. The better people you have around you, the better results. You need to manage your attitude to get those people to build your success. Like Steve Jobs has said ”It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”. Do you the attitude to accept, that someone comes up with a challenging idea?
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Values, mission and vision, those you need to have clarified for yourself. Then it is easy to see the proper attitude, which is in line with those three. And learning to adopt more sufficient attitudes become a lot easier. Just to your homework, have the vision clear and in front of yourself every day!
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I hear often people say ”I don’t have an attitude”. Well, that might be true in some cases. But for most of us, it only means that our attitude is triggered by something, sometimes almost irrelevant, elements in facing the situation. Think of your behaviors (they are reflections of your attitude), think what kind of approaches could have advanced your path to your goal. Then you start to see, what kind of attitude you need to have, in order to combine progress with your values and mission.
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One core attitude I have is ”justice”. This means that I problems in accepting behaviour where someone is treated badly just to build someone else’s status. That has had some costs to it, but the positive inner feeling has always been more rewarding than that of the cost. Dare to be you, respecting everyone. |
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